My day wasn’t going too well yesterday. It started late, I had to switch tasks often and a task I was working on got so complicated my head started to fry up.

Things changed at 4pm, I decided to leave my work behind and just go to the gym. I knew I wasn’t doing great mentally-  so I deserved a break and needed to change my mindset. When I came back to work again – I didn’t quite feel very happy or very productive(no gym magic). So I started to fake it – I made sure I cracked a joke every few minutes & I chuckled loudly. Walla! I continued working past mid night & had a very productive time!

So my lessons?

1) There are times when I am down. I’ve gotten better at identifying them & walking away.

2) Walking away to the cafe was my default response – I’ve now managed to take myself to the gym instead.

3) When walking away still doesn’t help – fake it! Laugh a bit & soon the world changes around you.

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My super-public- habit tracker – Consecutive days  of : Daily Exercise 2 , Blogging 4 , No snooze 4 (Started Feb 1 – Count as of yesterday)

When negotiating a pay rise or a bigger project, we are asked to compared ourselves to those who weren’t as lucky as ourselves. When you receive a less than expected reward- you are told its ok, they got lesser. While this is not so convincing, the more convincing argument is usually – you were lucky to even be here, just imagine the plight of those many others in country XYZ; you are very privileged.

Now I agree completely with the privilege theory. However I think there are two emotions getting mixed up here. First is the idea of privilege and how that means you need to give back to help those in need. Second is the idea of privilege and how you must ensure your privilege is fully utilised to achieve something bigger. Of course, by achieving larger things you can give back more as well. But importantly, we need to recognise that because we are privileged we have 2 duties. The duty to give back to others, but you also the duty to achieve more.

Fully utilise the privilege to achieve more. Remember your privilege and give more. Don’t remember your privilege and settle for smaller things.

It’s dangerous to confuse the two emotions – because instead of doing more because you are privileged, you are settling more!

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Don’t break the chain (Started Feb 1 – Count as of yesterday)

Daily Exercise 1 , Blog 3 , No snooze 3

It’s a month into the year- how are your resolutions working for you?

If you are stuck like me (my exercise/reflection habits) , I recommend that you think hard about the goal. Convert the goal into a process goal or a theme goal rather than one final milestone. For example, Instead of “get fitter and lose x kg” goal, move to “exercise everyday” or better still “exercise at least 7 mins everyday” or EVEN better still “exercise at least 7 mins first thing in the morning”.

The trick is to find a way to measure something everyday- I mark a calendar on a fitness app. I am looking to spend time each day reflecting and learning- but my diary habit hasn’t kicked in. I am starting to like the calendar on the right side of this blog to measure it.

Still working through these struggles – so let me know if you have better ideas!

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Don’t break the chain (Starting Feb 1 – as of yesterday)

Daily Exercise 0 , Blog 2 , No snooze 2

From Leo Babauta’s Zen habits:

What I’ve been learning is that happiness and contentment and greatness isn’t out there. It’s not where everyone else is, even if it seems like it. You can spend your whole life chasing this happiness, contentment, dreams, greatness, coolness, and never reach it. That’s because it’s right where you are now.

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Instead, turn to where you are right at this moment. Pause and feel your body, your breath, and all the sensations surrounding you right now. See how this moment contains so much that you don’t normally notice, if you start paying attention.
Realize that this moment is enough. All around you, right now, is a moment that is as high quality as any of the possibilities that often enter your mind of what you should be doing or where you should be. Those ideal experiences aren’t of any higher quality than the experience you’re having right now.

In December last year, I hit about 70 consecutive days of exercise. I thought a new habit was born.

In January this year, I exercised 7 times in total. That’s less than 20% of the days & horrible turn for the worse.

In January I did change one habit successfully – never snoozing an alarm! Happy to say I’ve survived quite alright without the snooze feature! I also wanted to reflect and blog more often – in January I managed 12 out of 31 days. I will continue to push towards the daily habit!

I think the key to both the exercise & the reflection habit is to get them done early. To an early February! Until next month 🙂

Luck is talked about like fate.Luck is compared to magic. Luck is often thought to be random.

But it appears like Luck is a mindset. Luck is the ability to spot opportunities. “Luck” happens to the ones that already feel “Lucky”.

Many years ago, I visited Sri Lanka with my Spanish friend Cris. We reached Colombo late at night, went straight to our dorms and fell asleep. We were sleeping on the upper bed of a bunker bed and when we woke up we realized that our window was overlooking the beach. Also, we realized that we were sharing the room with 2 japanese women.

One of them, Nami, was travelling around the world after college and it was her last day in Colombo. She offered to take us by local bus to her favorite temple in Colombo. It was the weirdest thing – an Indian guy and a Spanish guy were following a Japanese girl to a remote temple on the outskirts of Colombo. After spending time at the temple, getting some Indian food and walking around the local market, we found our way to a small restaurant at the beach later that evening. We enjoyed the local fish and a couple of drinks, as we counted down to Nami’s flight to Moscow(I think). The three of us got along pretty well and thought this was quite the unique meeting. Nami captured the emotion best when she quoted a Japanese saying “Ichigo Ichie” – it was a fated meeting. The literal translation of “Ichigo Ichie is “One Time, One meeting” or “a once in a lifetime meeting.”

The quote originally comes from a lesson of the tea ceremony. It means that since this encounter with you might be only once and might never happen again we will make this tea ceremony the best. Nowadays, it also has an extended meaning that since every encounter with someone new might be only once in your lifetime you should treasure it. It highlights the fact that this exact moment and this exact setting will never repeat itself.

The quote stuck with me for a long time. Nami left that evening. Cris & I travelled around Sri Lanka a couple more days and had a few other such “Ichigo Ichie” moments – perhaps Nami’s spirit defined our trip.

Many years later, as fate would have it – I met Nami again. I had just travelled to Tokyo and was waiting for a friend near Harajuku station. I sent a facebook message to Nami – and well, she was just around the corner. We met again, and went to temple in Japan – the tour guide this time my Japanese friend of Indian origin. Later, the 3 of us met up with an American friend of Vietnamese origins & the 4 of us went for a Korean BBQ. Our waitress was Burmese and I greeted her – Kyeizu Tin ba de (Thank you in Burmese, I had just been to Burma 6 months earlier).

Now as I look back at these encounters – I realize that the probability of such meetings are very low. While it seems obviously hard to repeat because of the backgrounds of the people that met, it also applies to the many encounters I have everyday. I never know when the last meeting with someone will be, I never know if it will ever repeat & i never know if this moment will change my life forever. What I do know is that each of these moments are special. What I do know is that each of these moments are meant to be treasured. What I do know is… Ichi-go Ichi-e.

You understand Chinese and I don’t. If we both went to China – everyone will probably speak to us in Chinese – but you would understand them and I wouldn’t. In that scenario, you will be able to communicate back to them and perhaps you are at an advantage.

In the world, everyone speaks one language. The language of human behaviour, psychology and motives. At the risk of a very wide generalisation, despite our varied upbringing our instincts & body language is fairly similar. Now therefore the world is speaking this language – let’s call it “Soft language”. If you understood it and I didn’t, then just like in China you are at an advantage.

The underlying language is pretty similar across the world – everyone speaks it, few understand it. Understanding it doesn’t make you a magician nor does it make you manipulative. The underlying “Soft Language” is just another language you can learn & another weapon in your armour.

The other day, mid-way through an intense discussion with a colleague I blurted “Analysis is logical, Decisions are emotional”. Suddenly the discussions we were having fell into place and everything seemed to make sense.

Since then, I’ve found this statement very useful in many walks of life. Any time I need persuade people to change, I can only do so if I appeal to their emotional side. Logic & analysis are a great ally that one can use to elicit emotions. These emotions then drive decisions and motion.

Sharing intent, goals & dreams make so much of a difference.  When I say them out aloud my dreams become clearer to myself. When I declare my goals, people find ways to help me and the universe conspires to help me.

But I keep dreams to myself. Keeping them to myself is easy, declaring them is scary. I fear that people will judge me on my goals and judge me if i don’t achieve them. The fear stops action – though I know the benefits outweigh the fear.

I have made attempts at getting over the fear and finding logical structures to help me. The process is complex and unnecessary. Instead, that while I may never get over my fears I can learn to manage my fears. I can get used to the feeling.  I just need to face my fears and learn to manage the feeling.

Joey says it best 🙂