Where you come from, should not determine where you end up

I love complex ideas – because it’s rewarding when I understand them. Then I attach names to concepts- perhaps because am creative?

As a result, in discussions with others I start going on with my jargon and ideas. Yesterday in a meeting I explained how the current approach was flawed and that we needed a new one- I used terms like top down vs bottom up, metric based system . About 15 minutes later a question revealed that the listener didn’t understand my approach – I drew a basic flow chart and everything was clear. If only I started with the simple flow chart!

Need to find more ways to catch myself from complicating the trivial- extra complexity syndrome. Am doing it again… 🙂

Feedback & Criticism is awesome, but often hard to swallow. Yesterday, i had an interesting altercation which resulted in providing great insights.

It started as always with “you are wrong“, “No, you are wrong“. The switch happened when I admitted that I didn’t understand their point of view – “You know… I think I don’t understand, can you show me how you would do it better“. Slowly emotions dropped and we had a more logical discussion.

There are quite a few great feedback structures, but I think the key is to keep emotions out – well everything other than compassion perhaps.

When I am lost, when I am frustrated, when I am about to give up, when sleep doesn’t help…

I try to make it fun. If I am going down, I must as well have fun 🙂

Often i just need energy to turn the situation around, and when I have fun I often start finding pride in the work and that makes a huge difference to energy levels! Here is to finding more ways to have fun!

From Inc – lovely article on listening

Respond, don’t react. I love this mantra and keep it top of mind, especially when I know I’m about to hear bad news or something that could upset me. It’s perfectly normal to want to spout out the first thing that hits your mind, but in most cases you’re better off to take a second to digest the content of what you’ve just heard.

“Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.” –Alan Alda

Sometimes this means saying, “I heard you but I need time to think about my response”. That’s cool, as long as you don’t let too much time-lapse. Or, respond in the moment and then come back if after further thought you have additional comments to add. Both actions show the person 1) you heard them 2) you wanted to be thoughtful in your reply and 3) you take what was said seriously.

Can you afford to sleep it off? Go sleep!

A lovely story I read today:

A Father is flying a kite. His son is watching him carefully.After some time son says, Dad because of the string the kite is not able to go any further higher.

Hearing this, the father smiles and breaks the string.The kite goes higher after breaking of the thread and then shortly after that it comes and falls on the ground.The child is very dejected and sad.

The father sits next to him and calmly explains ” Son, in life we reach a certain level of prosperity and then we feel that there are certain things in our life that are not letting us grow any further like Home, Family, Culture Friendship etc. We feel we want to be free from those strings which we believe are stopping us from going higher.

But, remember son. Going higher is easier than staying at the higher level. Friends, family and morals are the things that will help us stay stable at the high heights that we have achieved. If we try to break away from those strings our condition will be similar to the kite.”

I get frustrated when I wait for someone – I get stuck in a negative state. Maybe I have more to lose in such situations and I’ve tried to find ways to get comfortable with waiting.

1. Wait in a comfortable place: I try not to wait for anyone at a bus stop, outdoor area or market! Rather wait for them at a more comfortable place – say a cafe. So the plan is never – “Let’s meet by that road corner and walk over to my favourite cafe”  but its rather “Meet at my favourite cafe, call if you are lost”.
2. Have something to do: I carry a notebook and some 10-15 min task that I can complete. Switching my mental state from “can’t believe he is making me wait” to “oh yay, 10 mins to do XYZ” helps. Or play a game 😛
3. Prepare for a grand opening:  Most late-comers will start with “Sorry I am late”. That means you can also plan your response and shape the rest of the meeting, here are some curve balls to give you an idea.
   • To surprise – “That’s ok, you must have run over and its a hot day. Here’s a lemon aid to cool down”
   • Get a free meal – “Thats ok, the least I could do is wait, you are going to pay after all!”
   • For sarcasm lovers “Oh I love waiting for you”

I think the big lesson is to move from thinking of the waiting time as an annoying experience to celebrating the extra “me time”.

Do you have other tips?