My Inspiration wall

A few weeks ago I bought this wall Decal and I’ve put it up in my bedroom – to be the first thing I see when I wake up. Soon after I started adding post-its to just note some thoughts through the days. It’s been quite fun to go back and read the wall.

On the top I’ve added the 4 L’s – Love, Laugh, Learn, Live it loud. I am looking for my 5th L – perhaps a Large Biryani. 🙂

Here are some of the notes on the post -its:

  • Words must be from the heart not from the mouth
  • Secrets and lies often have underlying unhappiness
  • Err on the side of warmth. Warmth over competence
  • Consciousness about actions: Perhaps the best way to practice deliberate practice. Be conscious of inputs and then observe the output.
  • Be honest, Be vulnerable, Be silly, Be loving, Feel loved
  • Going to give up? Not going to work? Will you regret this a week from now?
  • It’s better to shit your pants than die of of constipation. Don’t be afraid.
  • It’s funny how people put away urges – the very thing that makes life worth living. Without extreme emotions life is but a mediocre ride through the uninteresting.
  • Truly care for every person who comes your way. People should leave a conversation feeling loved. There lies a great power to help each person achieve their dreams.
  • Jump in and enjoy the ride
  • Best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. What did you plant today?
  • When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot twist” and move on.
  • The dichotomy between idealism and realism – Idealism only works when you have the latter.

Be afraid and Do it anyway!

I was 13 years old, trying to teach my 6 year old sister how to dive into a swimming pool from the side of the pool. It was taking quite a while as my sister was really nervous about it. We were at a big, public pool, and nearby there was a woman, about 75 years old, slowly swimming laps. Occasionally she would stop and watch us. Finally she swam over to us just when I was really putting the pressure on, trying to get my sister to try the dive, and my sister was shouting, “but I’m afraid!! I’m so afraid!!” The old woman looked at my sister, raised her fist defiantly in the air and said, “So be afraid! And then do it anyway!”  That was 35 years ago and I have never forgotten it. It was a revelation — it’s not about being unafraid. It’s about being afraid and doing it anyway.

Source: Redditt

Who is the idiot?

You are trying to enter a building. You have an important meeting and have been invited over. You’ve even been sent emails telling you about the security clearance. You have all the paperwork to take you in. However, for some reason the security team is not letting you in. You are stuck outside, the guard is being an idiot and you can’t enter the building. You reason with him at first,you plead and you may even argue – yet no access!

How many such encounters do you have?  Encounters where you are trying to tell people to do the right thing, yet people remain stubborn. Encounters where people are being downright Idiots and getting in your way.

But hold on.. Who is the idiot here? At the end of the encounter – you lost your right to enter the building, you lost your cool and perhaps lost a lot of energy. He is having his way. So he maybe an idiot, but you are the bigger idiot aren’t you?

We communicate to get an idea across. We interact to influence the other person. If we can’t, we are perhaps the idiot.

Looking out the window…

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.  One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to receive his daily medical treatment.  His bed was next to the room’s only window.  The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.  The men talked for hours on end.  They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, and where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.  The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by the description of activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a beautiful lake.  Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.  Young lovers held hands and walked amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow.  Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.  As the man described his view from the window in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing through the park.  Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see the parade in his mind’s eye, as the gentleman by the window developed a detailed picture with his descriptive words.

One morning, the nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.  She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.  Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside.  Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself.  He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.  To his surprise the window faced a brick wall.

The man called for the nurse and asked what could have compelled his deceased roommate to describe such wonderful things outside this window.  The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.  She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

The moral of the story is there is tremendous joy in making others happy, despite our own situations.  Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.  If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money cannot buy.  Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.

The message on the gate

Many years ago, a victorius king wanted to build a gate to his city. He wanted the gate to carry a message that would stand the test of time.

He gathered a bunch of wise people. They were asked to come up with a message that would be timeless yet also stand for everything the city stood for. The king said the message (like the city) should mean something to the ruler & the rules, young & the old, the wise & not so wise, the happy & the sad, the rich & the poor and the loved & the not so loved. He wanted a message that would apply to all.

The wise people searched for long and searched far. Many candidates were deliberated on and finally the wise people agreed on a message. The gate reads “This too shall pass” …

In search of Pizza

I recently watched a tamil movei –Kaaka Muttai. The story revolves around two slum children of Chennai whose desire is to taste a pizza. They collect money by selling charcoal & try to use the money to buy pizza. They are not let in because they were from the slum. So then they try to go look for ways to buy better clothes and eventually “obtain” better clothes. On their second attempt- they are denied entry again. The story continues with such twists until the last scene where the boys are greeted at the pizza spot with a red carpet . The owner also promises to give them pizzas whenever they come even if they don’t have money to give. However, the final scene shows the brothers saying to each other that the dosa which their grandmother gave them was better than the pizza they were eating.

Isn’t life much the same? When we focus very heavily on the goal, often when we get to the destination we are disappointed.

After all, life is about looking out of the window.

Unconscious Biases : Ashamed of or aware of?

I was checking my bags in at the airport. As the process was fairly slow – I started talking to the ground staff…One of those guys who helps to lift bags at luggage counters. I pulled his leg & he did likewise. Soon the boarding pass was ready, I bid goodbye to him and proceeded to my boarding gate.

Later, he was walking about inside the terminal and he spotted me. So we started talking again. He sat with me and told me about his life – his previous jobs, his current job, his education and a lot more. Soon, his managers were doing their rounds, he got scared and I asked him to get back to work. As he was about to leave, he asked me for my phone number and I got freaked out a bit. I didn’t oblige.

After he left though, I felt a bit disappointed by the experience. I realised that if it were an air hostess or  a co-passenger, I would have given them my phone number.I was ashamed. I was unconsciously biased against that boy. 

But on more thought, I realised that unconscious biases exist. They were built into me because of my background and upbringing. While I can’t undo all of that, I can be more aware of my actions and consciously correct for my biases. Perhaps then, unconscious biases are not something to be ashamed of but rather something we need to be aware of.

My super-public habit tracker 

June: Exercise 4 Blogging 3 Meditation 1

May: Exercise 4 Blogging 10 Meditation 6

The Why…

Consciously thinking of the “why” to any situation can go a long way. Here are two situations that happened yesterday that outlined it.

I had travelled to my cousin’s house to meet her 1 year old daughter. I had previously only met her on her first day on earth – doubt she remembers much from that day. The setting therefore is cousin, her husband, her daughter, her brother & me. The baby ran around for a bit, when I remembered I had to upload a few documents and I quickly logged in to complete it. The baby girl fell asleep by the time I was done. The purpose of the visit was clearly to spend time with the young one, but I just forgot about it due to the reminders a phone gave me.

Later in the evening, as I was about to leave I went around the house hugging goodbye. My aunt was in the kitchen and fairly sweaty. She was hesitant about the hug as she felt she was sweaty. This time I remembered my why and got my hug in.

There are plenty of things to do in the world. The tough part is not completing all these many things, the tough part is to  remembering the why.

My super-public habit tracker 

June: Exercise 3 Blogging 2 Meditation 0

May: Exercise 4 Blogging 10 Meditation 6