Birthdays…

I’ve gone through swings in how I think of Birthdays.

My earliest memory of a birthday was a party early one morning in my dad’s office. I was probably 3. My relatives had all gathered around. I was excited about new socks. (and that book about whales). At 5 we had a massive party on my terrace. With a guitarist, a Charlie Chaplin and a magician (and his rabbit). Friends and teachers from school were there and I remember all the gifts. One also spelt my name “Wick Rum”.

The next few years had variations of celebrations with friends. Cutlets seem to be a mainstay of the menu at these celebrations. One birthday celebration coincided with exam season, so my mom designed games that prepared us for the exam.  When I got too-cool to celebrate with a party in school, I went out with parents and relatives. A cake at the pool-side with many relatives and my over sized yellow t-shirt. Eventually I grew into it – so investment 😛

University had a further myriad of celebrations. The first had 100s (at least in my head) show up at midnight to splatter cake on my face and give me my deserving birthday bums.The next had fewer folks at midnight but they decided not to waste the cake – instead it was eggs, flour and a drop into a dirty pond. There were birthday treats that costed 70$ – massive at that point and I felt like I was going way over budget. 

Birthday in Sweden perhaps had the best surprise ever. A bunch of friends waiting in the corner of a train station for me to show up. (yes there was cake and I also almost ran into a train and missed them). There were more variations of birthdays since – combined meal treats, a house party, quiet dinners and DUMPLINGS! Blood donations, food distribution, charity campaigns, and this one attempt at telling 100 people a story of a girl to collect a dollar from each person.

There are plenty other stories about my birthdays. Each story brings back more memories about the people involved and gives me great joy. I am starting to like birthday celebrations again in my own funny way – not because of the birthday celebration and not because I grew a year older; but because its a chance to reflect about the numerous people who’ve graced my life. Its an opportunity to celebrate the many people who’ve shaped me to be who I am.

Thank you for influencing my life in the small or large way that you have.So thank you for the gift of your presence in my life. If you wish to give me more presen(ts)ce- a quick message that we can use to kick off a conversation would be lovely!

Avi reminded me this morning that birthdays are an opportunity to celebrate achievements & successes. It was a timely reminder to complete this post.

My house help is smarter than me…

I’ve always admitted that I am very impressed with my house help. She came to the rescue again today.

I got locked out of my bathroom. It’s been locked for a day now (thankfully I have 2 bathrooms in the house). I tried pulling the door and pushing it, tried all angles and degrees of force on the lock, I even tried talking to the door(open sesame). No luck.

This morning, I asked my house help help. She first asked me if it wasn’t opening (not sure if its reaffirmation or teaching me hindi by repeating my broken sentence with correct grammar). Then she tried opening the door – no luck. Unlike me, she gave up in 5 seconds, looked around, found a nail cutter. She used the back end to open the door and walla- it was open within 45 seconds of my initial question. And I apparently studied engineering!

My Realisation – Sometimes I forget that everyone is smarter than me. Ok Well, EVERYONE is smarter than me …  How can I improve my life by asking for help more often?

Stop fighting, start embracing…

I have a default advice to give first time speakers – You will feel nervous when you go on stage. The look on their faces is quite priceless as usually their question is how do I stop feeling nervous.

I’ve presented to audiences of 1000s of people and yet a presentation in front of 3 people will still make me nervous.  But it is important that you go still speak and feel nervous. When you finish speaking, the nervousness will go away and hopefully, over time you will start enjoying that nervousness.The nervousness is preparing your body to be top performer by secreting the necessary hormones – but we don’t understand that and we don’t have to. Instead, let’s just think of it as an adventure sport – bungee jumping or sky diving. It is scary at first – but nobody dies (at least not in public speaking) and it feels alright by the end.

Acknowledging the nervousness and the fear makes a huge difference. It puts things into perspective. This is quite true of any activity – the tough interview, the application to your dream programme or even asking the tough questions. There will be fear and nervousness – but stop fighting it & start embracing it. Hopefully you’ll have a smoother ride.

My Inspiration wall

A few weeks ago I bought this wall Decal and I’ve put it up in my bedroom – to be the first thing I see when I wake up. Soon after I started adding post-its to just note some thoughts through the days. It’s been quite fun to go back and read the wall.

On the top I’ve added the 4 L’s – Love, Laugh, Learn, Live it loud. I am looking for my 5th L – perhaps a Large Biryani. 🙂

Here are some of the notes on the post -its:

  • Words must be from the heart not from the mouth
  • Secrets and lies often have underlying unhappiness
  • Err on the side of warmth. Warmth over competence
  • Consciousness about actions: Perhaps the best way to practice deliberate practice. Be conscious of inputs and then observe the output.
  • Be honest, Be vulnerable, Be silly, Be loving, Feel loved
  • Going to give up? Not going to work? Will you regret this a week from now?
  • It’s better to shit your pants than die of of constipation. Don’t be afraid.
  • It’s funny how people put away urges – the very thing that makes life worth living. Without extreme emotions life is but a mediocre ride through the uninteresting.
  • Truly care for every person who comes your way. People should leave a conversation feeling loved. There lies a great power to help each person achieve their dreams.
  • Jump in and enjoy the ride
  • Best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. What did you plant today?
  • When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot twist” and move on.
  • The dichotomy between idealism and realism – Idealism only works when you have the latter.

Be afraid and Do it anyway!

I was 13 years old, trying to teach my 6 year old sister how to dive into a swimming pool from the side of the pool. It was taking quite a while as my sister was really nervous about it. We were at a big, public pool, and nearby there was a woman, about 75 years old, slowly swimming laps. Occasionally she would stop and watch us. Finally she swam over to us just when I was really putting the pressure on, trying to get my sister to try the dive, and my sister was shouting, “but I’m afraid!! I’m so afraid!!” The old woman looked at my sister, raised her fist defiantly in the air and said, “So be afraid! And then do it anyway!”  That was 35 years ago and I have never forgotten it. It was a revelation — it’s not about being unafraid. It’s about being afraid and doing it anyway.

Source: Redditt

PROJECT 1% – The Power of Small Actions

Have you heard the story of the young man who, while walking down an empty beach spotted a person throwing beached starfish back into the sea?

Since there were millions of beached starfish on that particular coast, he went up to his man and asked him why he was doing this. The man explained that starfish were very important to the ecosystem and that he did this when he went down for his daily walk. ‘That’s pointless’- exclaimed the young man “There are millions of them and you can never make much of a difference”. 

Our starfish hero picked up a starfish on the ground, flung it back into the sea, smiled and said – “Made a difference to that one..”

Similar to that story, we believed that our small actions would help to make a better world.  So in late 2013, as a group of friends we startedHelp2grow.org. After experimenting with a few projects, we have now embarked on a promising light weight project – Project 1%. 

Introducing Project 1% :

Project 1% as the name suggests includes each of us pledging 1%.  We pledge 1% of our incomes, time and energy to helping worthy causes.. because we believe that small things can often be the big things. We meet virtually monthly to channel the resources to a partner of our choice. That’s it!  (Perhaps, our favourite part of project 1% is  how easy it is to explain)

Since we began, we’ve made our small impact with the 1% Pledges. Here the causes we funded between Mar and Jun’15 with various great NGOs:

  • SOS Childrens’ Village: a year’s education for a child

    The 1% impact

  • Project Khel: 3 months of sports based life-skills course for 50 children
  • Vidyarambam: 4 months of English classes for 40 kids in Chennai & child’s full year education (Shweta’sobservations)
  •  Bridging the Gaps (partially sponsored) – a sport-art camp for 120 underprivileged kids to learn about leadership, gender equality and many other things. (Myobservations on transforming lives)

The world is changed one starfish at a time & Project 1% is our step in that direction.Share 1% Care 100% .

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This is also posted at Help2grow.org. We’re very proud of the work we’ve done so far and would love to hear from you. Are there causes you would like to fund?  Would you like to share 1%? We’d love to hear from you.

Who is the idiot?

You are trying to enter a building. You have an important meeting and have been invited over. You’ve even been sent emails telling you about the security clearance. You have all the paperwork to take you in. However, for some reason the security team is not letting you in. You are stuck outside, the guard is being an idiot and you can’t enter the building. You reason with him at first,you plead and you may even argue – yet no access!

How many such encounters do you have?  Encounters where you are trying to tell people to do the right thing, yet people remain stubborn. Encounters where people are being downright Idiots and getting in your way.

But hold on.. Who is the idiot here? At the end of the encounter – you lost your right to enter the building, you lost your cool and perhaps lost a lot of energy. He is having his way. So he maybe an idiot, but you are the bigger idiot aren’t you?

We communicate to get an idea across. We interact to influence the other person. If we can’t, we are perhaps the idiot.

Looking out the window…

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.  One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to receive his daily medical treatment.  His bed was next to the room’s only window.  The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.  The men talked for hours on end.  They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, and where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.  The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by the description of activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a beautiful lake.  Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.  Young lovers held hands and walked amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow.  Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.  As the man described his view from the window in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing through the park.  Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see the parade in his mind’s eye, as the gentleman by the window developed a detailed picture with his descriptive words.

One morning, the nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.  She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.  Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside.  Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself.  He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.  To his surprise the window faced a brick wall.

The man called for the nurse and asked what could have compelled his deceased roommate to describe such wonderful things outside this window.  The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.  She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

The moral of the story is there is tremendous joy in making others happy, despite our own situations.  Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.  If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money cannot buy.  Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.

The message on the gate

Many years ago, a victorius king wanted to build a gate to his city. He wanted the gate to carry a message that would stand the test of time.

He gathered a bunch of wise people. They were asked to come up with a message that would be timeless yet also stand for everything the city stood for. The king said the message (like the city) should mean something to the ruler & the rules, young & the old, the wise & not so wise, the happy & the sad, the rich & the poor and the loved & the not so loved. He wanted a message that would apply to all.

The wise people searched for long and searched far. Many candidates were deliberated on and finally the wise people agreed on a message. The gate reads “This too shall pass” …