Month: August 2015

Birthdays…

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I’ve gone through swings in how I think of Birthdays.

My earliest memory of a birthday was a party early one morning in my dad’s office. I was probably 3. My relatives had all gathered around. I was excited about new socks. (and that book about whales). At 5 we had a massive party on my terrace. With a guitarist, a Charlie Chaplin and a magician (and his rabbit). Friends and teachers from school were there and I remember all the gifts. One also spelt my name “Wick Rum”.

The next few years had variations of celebrations with friends. Cutlets seem to be a mainstay of the menu at these celebrations. One birthday celebration coincided with exam season, so my mom designed games that prepared us for the exam.  When I got too-cool to celebrate with a party in school, I went out with parents and relatives. A cake at the pool-side with many relatives and my over sized yellow t-shirt. Eventually I grew into it – so investment 😛

University had a further myriad of celebrations. The first had 100s (at least in my head) show up at midnight to splatter cake on my face and give me my deserving birthday bums.The next had fewer folks at midnight but they decided not to waste the cake – instead it was eggs, flour and a drop into a dirty pond. There were birthday treats that costed 70$ – massive at that point and I felt like I was going way over budget. 

Birthday in Sweden perhaps had the best surprise ever. A bunch of friends waiting in the corner of a train station for me to show up. (yes there was cake and I also almost ran into a train and missed them). There were more variations of birthdays since – combined meal treats, a house party, quiet dinners and DUMPLINGS! Blood donations, food distribution, charity campaigns, and this one attempt at telling 100 people a story of a girl to collect a dollar from each person.

There are plenty other stories about my birthdays. Each story brings back more memories about the people involved and gives me great joy. I am starting to like birthday celebrations again in my own funny way – not because of the birthday celebration and not because I grew a year older; but because its a chance to reflect about the numerous people who’ve graced my life. Its an opportunity to celebrate the many people who’ve shaped me to be who I am.

Thank you for influencing my life in the small or large way that you have.So thank you for the gift of your presence in my life. If you wish to give me more presen(ts)ce- a quick message that we can use to kick off a conversation would be lovely!

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Avi reminded me this morning that birthdays are an opportunity to celebrate achievements & successes. It was a timely reminder to complete this post.

My house help is smarter than me…

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I’ve always admitted that I am very impressed with my house help. She came to the rescue again today.

I got locked out of my bathroom. It’s been locked for a day now (thankfully I have 2 bathrooms in the house). I tried pulling the door and pushing it, tried all angles and degrees of force on the lock, I even tried talking to the door(open sesame). No luck.

This morning, I asked my house help help. She first asked me if it wasn’t opening (not sure if its reaffirmation or teaching me hindi by repeating my broken sentence with correct grammar). Then she tried opening the door – no luck. Unlike me, she gave up in 5 seconds, looked around, found a nail cutter. She used the back end to open the door and walla- it was open within 45 seconds of my initial question. And I apparently studied engineering!

My Realisation – Sometimes I forget that everyone is smarter than me. Ok Well, EVERYONE is smarter than me …  How can I improve my life by asking for help more often?

Stop fighting, start embracing…

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I have a default advice to give first time speakers – You will feel nervous when you go on stage. The look on their faces is quite priceless as usually their question is how do I stop feeling nervous.

I’ve presented to audiences of 1000s of people and yet a presentation in front of 3 people will still make me nervous.  But it is important that you go still speak and feel nervous. When you finish speaking, the nervousness will go away and hopefully, over time you will start enjoying that nervousness.The nervousness is preparing your body to be top performer by secreting the necessary hormones – but we don’t understand that and we don’t have to. Instead, let’s just think of it as an adventure sport – bungee jumping or sky diving. It is scary at first – but nobody dies (at least not in public speaking) and it feels alright by the end.

Acknowledging the nervousness and the fear makes a huge difference. It puts things into perspective. This is quite true of any activity – the tough interview, the application to your dream programme or even asking the tough questions. There will be fear and nervousness – but stop fighting it & start embracing it. Hopefully you’ll have a smoother ride.

My Inspiration wall

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A few weeks ago I bought this wall Decal and I’ve put it up in my bedroom – to be the first thing I see when I wake up. Soon after I started adding post-its to just note some thoughts through the days. It’s been quite fun to go back and read the wall.

On the top I’ve added the 4 L’s – Love, Laugh, Learn, Live it loud. I am looking for my 5th L – perhaps a Large Biryani. 🙂

Here are some of the notes on the post -its:

  • Words must be from the heart not from the mouth
  • Secrets and lies often have underlying unhappiness
  • Err on the side of warmth. Warmth over competence
  • Consciousness about actions: Perhaps the best way to practice deliberate practice. Be conscious of inputs and then observe the output.
  • Be honest, Be vulnerable, Be silly, Be loving, Feel loved
  • Going to give up? Not going to work? Will you regret this a week from now?
  • It’s better to shit your pants than die of of constipation. Don’t be afraid.
  • It’s funny how people put away urges – the very thing that makes life worth living. Without extreme emotions life is but a mediocre ride through the uninteresting.
  • Truly care for every person who comes your way. People should leave a conversation feeling loved. There lies a great power to help each person achieve their dreams.
  • Jump in and enjoy the ride
  • Best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. What did you plant today?
  • When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot twist” and move on.
  • The dichotomy between idealism and realism – Idealism only works when you have the latter.

Be afraid and Do it anyway!

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I was 13 years old, trying to teach my 6 year old sister how to dive into a swimming pool from the side of the pool. It was taking quite a while as my sister was really nervous about it. We were at a big, public pool, and nearby there was a woman, about 75 years old, slowly swimming laps. Occasionally she would stop and watch us. Finally she swam over to us just when I was really putting the pressure on, trying to get my sister to try the dive, and my sister was shouting, “but I’m afraid!! I’m so afraid!!” The old woman looked at my sister, raised her fist defiantly in the air and said, “So be afraid! And then do it anyway!”  That was 35 years ago and I have never forgotten it. It was a revelation — it’s not about being unafraid. It’s about being afraid and doing it anyway.

Source: Redditt